Barbara Kershaw's early life written in 2003

Having got to the age of 91, and being a mass of aches and pains I cannot write at length, as I should wish. I have had a very exciting and interesting life and traveled in many unexpected places.

I was born in Vancouver in 1912. My father - in 1914 - joined the Navy, took my two brothers to England and left them with his father and mother. My mother followed with me when she had scratched up enough money. He was killed in the Dardenelles in 1915 and my Mother, a strong lady with a splendid sense of humour, spent the next seven years working day and night to pay off my Father's debts and cope with three children. Suffice it to say it was a hard grind but with an Aunt and Uncle and many good friends, she coped. 'The Minister of Pensions' was our savior and ogre. They helped with education, but as we were wayward characters they wrote letters to my Mother saying that if we did not work harder, or behave better, the pension would be cut. 'The Minister of Pensions' lurked behind letters received at the beginning of the holidays when school reports came in. We were never quite wicked enough for retribution and survived but my Mother did not. She died when I was 10 years old and we went to live with the Sister and her Husband. I did not know what a wonderful life would follow this move and how everlastingly I would respect, love and bless them.

My Aunt and Mother had lived in Mauritius till they married. Aunt Patty was prim and proper and a staunch Christian. My Uncle Bos (Boscowen) Gordon was a really wonderful man. He had a brilliant career. He was strict and rather fierce, but such fun at the same time. I first met him on our return to England when I was 2 ½ years old. He and my Aunt met us at Waterloo and he gave me a Teddy Bear. I can remember clutching him round the knees and saying: 'I like him. I like him. I like him ...'

The Aunt had lived in Mauritius with our large family of twenty-four in a rambling house near Moca. Great Grand Mother, Grand Mother and several brothers and sisters, friends and cousins. My Grandfather was a Doctor, but died early, he had lost all his money in a lethal cyclone which killed off the Island's sugar crop in which his money was invested.

Life was very basic. My Mother and two Aunts owned one pair of shoes between them and they had one Indian servant who was dear to all of them. They had no education, except what the family could teach them.

Mauritius had a splendid deep harbour and the Eastern Fleet spent three months there every year and there was also a Regiment based there. The Governor and his Lady had to entertain a great deal and found the Aunt's Patty and Esme very handy for dances and picnics. My Mother was younger but came in for lots of fun. How can you do this with one pair of shoes between three girls? Through the generosity of Sir Graham and Lady Bower and the fact that the girls were brilliant needle women and made their own clothes. Lady Bower sent to England for my Aunt's first evening dress, for a grand ball they were giving and Aunt Patty met the ADC and they fell in love. Lady Bower forbade the engagement. The ADC had only his pay, £400 a year and the Aunt had no money. The engagement was NOT POSSIBLE, Forbidden.

The Regiment, the 5th Northumberland Fusiliers was sent to India. The ADC put an advertisement in the local paper for a job as governess for his beloved. They heard of a job and Patty defied Lady Bower and left for India as soon as possible.

It is a strange fate arranges our lives. The Father of the family my Aunt worked for had to stay in Delhi during the hot weather so his wife stayed too. They asked my Aunt to take their two girls to the hills, to Simla. The Aunt was very reluctant to take this heavy responsibility but eventually agreed. One of the girls got enteric fever while in Simla and my Aunt implored the doctor to send for their Mother as the child was seriously ill. 'She will either be dead, or have recovered by the time Mrs. L. could get here' said the doctor. So the Aunt nursed the child and she recovered. When the Mother arrived in Simla later she embraced the Aunt and said ' I will give you anything in the world in my power'. The Aunt said she would like to marry her ADC. Mrs. L said 'You shall marry him here. We will give you your wedding and your wedding dress.'

So she married the ADC, Bos Gordon. He rode, hunted on borrowed horses and she made their quarters beautiful by covering wooden boxes with pretty materials. He tells a story of a gymkhana, where they had to ride to the other end of the course, write a four line poem to their lady, pick her up and ride back to the finish. She had never ridden a horse!

'Here she comes
Pitta pat Pitta pat.
The dear little girl
In the big black hat.

Uncle Bos was the nicest man in the world! I really think so.

They came home after six years in India to be engulfed in the Great War. He was in France in the trenches and recommended for the VC but he got a D.S.O. Then he learnt to fly on the old wooden and string planes and wore wings and was in the R.F.C. (Royal Flying Corps). I am not quite sure how this worked. This led him to being Chief of Staff to Lord Trenchard and he got a C.M.G for that. He was then sent to Scotland, near Loch Doon, to start and run an experimental flying boat station. My brothers and I stayed with them and had a wonderful time. I was five years old and remember the Duke of Connaught coming to inspect the Air Station. They went all over the station, closely followed by me. They crossed a plank over a waterway. I was very frightened of falling in but HAD to keep up! Once the other side they stopped to discuss something, turned round and went back over the plank. Panic, but I had to go too. Right - whatever it was OK and back they went over the plank again. I HAD to follow, but was still terrified.

On Lord Trenchard's staff was Sir Walter Lawrence, who had been Agent in Chief to the Duke of Bedford before the War. He had to tell the Duke he felt too old and weary, when peace was declared, to go back to work for him. 'Find me someone else' said the Duke.

He found Uncle Bos, which was the beginning for him and Patty, of a wonderful 24 years with the Duke.

I also remember being quite a trial to the Sergeant's Mess. I loved bully beef and they offered me some if I could quit talking for a whole five minutes. I managed it with difficulty.

The Uncle's batman was called Bachelor. His reply, when I called him was usually 'died of wounds' (Unattainable)!

The Uncle and Aunt announced that they were going for a walk. Peter was told firmly that he could not come. He was cross and stuck a large file twice into a Fusilier drum which was cherished by the Uncle. A year before a shot had gone in one side and out the other, the drummer was unhurt. When admonished for this useless act my Aunt said 'what would you do to a little boy who had done such a horrid thing?' 'I would have take him for a walk' said Peter.
Some acquaintances of my Aunt's came to tea and stayed far too long. The Uncle made up a poem:
Mr Smith and Mrs Smith
Went out to tea one Sunday
They ate so much and stayed so long
They didn't go back till Monday.

Later, they came to tea again. Peter was told, sternly that he was not to mention the rhyme. I can remember him sitting on the floor by the fire, saying 'Hm Hm Hm Hm, Hm Hm .... Thats about you' to the Smiths. My aunt thinking too quickly decided it was better to tell them the rhyme! I do not think they met again! Another rhyme my Uncle produced:

Auntie Patty was so good
She always acted as she should
She always sat up straight at table
And ate as much as she was able.

My Mother battled to earn by sewing enough to keep herself and three children. Dim years which I prefer to forget. She was brave and cheerful and much admired by many. She knew she was dying and wanted my Uncle to be Guardian to us, also the Bishop of Bristol, who was a good friend. He wrote 'I do not think I have ever met a more wonderful woman or a better Christian.'

Chapter 2

So here we were, living with the Gordons. They had a house in South Kensington and another in a village very near Woburn Abbey, in fact surrounded on three sides by Woburn Park. The Old Rectory, a lovely house, which had been lived in by the Duke's Master of the Horse' and had six stables, tack rooms and two garages and a spacious garden which included a tennis court.

What more could one want? Perfection, of course a horse or two would be nice. There were soon two horses looking out of the stalls doors!

My Uncle's main preoccupation was with the Duke's London estate, but there was also Woburn, Scotland, Devon, Somerset and Norfolk which all had local agents under him. He took me with him to all these places, but mostly to Devon: the Ducal estate which had 22 miles of the Tamar in it - Salmon fishing. Once or twice we shot the rapids in style. There was a large Canadian canoe for my Uncle, spare clothes, a picnic and three Rob Roy (very tippable) canoes. I usually, probably aged 12, tipped mine up as soon as I got into it and started the journey soaked to the skin. There were two rapids which were thrilling and several places where two groins nearly met in the middle of the river, where, if your canoe was not well aligned, the canoe could break in half.

My Uncle had the shooting there later on. I attempted to train a lovely black Labrador, with great lack of success. He knew exactly what to do, but had ideas of his own and was unreliable.

The birds came out of the hills beyond the river at a tremendous pace - and very high, so it was good shooting!

I remember a day when my brothers were there and three other boys, all about 16 or 17 years old. We were fooling about the small lake near the house when another lad, who had been fishing, joined us. The boys dared him to get in and swim, in his waders. He stayed in for twenty minutes, which stayed in my mind in later years when I got into trouble in rivers! When he got out, his waders were full of water, so were his clothes and he was tired!

Years later I was in Devon with my husband and two year old Adria and I got a day's fishing on the Tamer. I gradually waded, with difficulty, into the middle of a fast bit of river and we heard a plop. Adria had fallen down the steep slope and was being carried down fast. The bed of the river was all biggish stones, difficult to maneuver in waders and I could not catch her up. Luckily the Head Gardener's daughter came down to join us. She jumped in and rescued her! Looking back on this I cannot understand why Jack did not rescue her. There must have been a reason, but I forget! Before Adria was 10 she had two more tries to drown herself. One in Suffolk and once in Malta, but as I write this she is sixty one and going strong.

We stayed with the Agent in the Scottish estate (Cainsmore). He had a beautiful daughter, who had a tame fox cub which thought she was its Mother. I was enchanted.

The Uncle was looking for a Dower House for the Duchess - the Flying Duchess - and we went all over England looking at lovely houses, which for a variety of reasons, the Duchess turned down. Then one day we looked at Whispers, near Liphook. It was lovely and he told the Duchess about it.

'Go and buy it' said the Duchess - 'You know by now what I want.' So he did and had added, at the Duchess' request a Power house, an Aerodrome and Hanger, before she ever even saw it. She approved luckily but sadly, she never lived in it as she was lost flying two years later.

The Flying Duchess was a wonderful person. She was profoundly deaf, which was a serious disadvantage to her. She was the daughter of a parson and she was a trained nurse. The Duke built her a Cottage Hospital where she reigned, in charge or the X-ray Unit and she was called 'Matron'. She also had a lovely country house turned into a Nursing home where both the Uncle and Aunt had been nursed and where my Mother died. I remember the three mile journey there so many times, in a pony and trap.

My Uncle went to see the Duke, in the morning two or three times a week. He left me with the car in the garages where I became friendly with the chauffeurs and the black smith and visited all the buildings near the garages. The Sculpture Gallery was sometimes open. The first thing I saw was the 'Three Graces'. I do not think I saw much beyond the Graces which were enchanting and took my complete attention, though there were many more sculptures there.

'It was told' that some Americans came to the Abbey and the Duchess took them round the huge house and then to the Sculpture Gallery. They duly admired the Three Graces and one of them asked the Duchess: 'And which one is your Grace?'

My brothers and I asked the Uncle how we would address the Duke if we met him in Woburn Park. After a bit of thought he said:

'The boys should call him 'Sir' and you should call him 'Your Grace'!

Back to the Duchess. At an advanced age she went up in a private airplane. To her delight she found she would HEAR voices over the Intercom, so she bought a Moth.

I have a picture of a later plane, the Spider, in which she flew with her pilot, to India and back in seven days. A record in 1920. It is signed by her and her pilot. She flew solo a great deal. One rough day which I remember well, there were several severe hail storms. She had flown to Norfolk to see her Nature Reserve and never came back. It was a mystery until weeks later, remains of her plane were washed up on the shore in Norfolk.

My brothers and I were allowed in Woburn Park and though I cannot remember my brothers taking advantage of this I certainly did. Close to our house were the Zebras, looked after by an oldish man, who always contrived to get between the zebras and me as they were untrustworthy and would kick and bite. I think it was Lord Rothschild who drove a Coach and Four Zebras along the Mall in London.

Wandering around the park I found the European Bison's enclosure. I was about 12 years old and had no idea they were the most treacherous and dangerous of animals. The bull advanced to the high wire fence and I scratched his huge head which he seemed to enjoy. I often visited them and the bull always sauntered up to have his head scratched. One day a keeper came along and nearly threw a fit! I was told I was never to go there again.

There was a big herd of Pere David deer who were loose in the park. Their bones creaked loudly as they moved. I watched two cranes doing their mating dance. Beautiful and majestic. My dog was chased by a Rhea, who had 16 babies, identical miniatures trailing behind. My Uncle lobbed his bicycle at the Reah and she swerved away and the babies followed. Peter found a Rhea's egg. You could make scrambled egg for 6 people with one egg. We made a hole and tried to blow it but nothing happened. We made another hole the other end, nothing happened. We sawed it in half and it was very bad and smelt horrible!

About this time we found rats in the rubbish heap behind the stables. Hugh, Peter and I stood round the enormous heap, while a cousin threw in a banger. The air gun was supposed to shoot escaping rats. Peter silently and unseen got behind me and pinched my ankle. I screamed desperately as I thought a rat had got me.

A keeper told us that a few years before, the last giraffe had died, they made a funeral pyre for it. In the great heat its long neck and head waved around!

Chapter 3

Of course, interrupting this magic life, I had to go to school. While the Aunt and Uncle were in London I went to a school in Queen's Gate. I remember a friend called Prudence Maxwell-Light. She was the grand daughter of the man who wrote: 'Abide With Me'. I thought this was wonderful and still do! In fact my youngest daughter is called Prudence!
Then , for some reason, possibly because it was nearer to the house in South Kensington I was moved to Roland House's School and even at nine years old could walk there by myself. I enjoyed my time there. The Head mistress' niece, the same age as me, another Barbara, and I were the youngest borders. When the time came that my Mother was so ill it must have been convenient to have me off their hands. We were rather spoilt by the Headmistress' Mother. I remember that when we were naughty we were sent to bed without any supper, old Ma Roby brought us a tray of goodies! A great tie between Roby and me was that both our fathers had been killed at Gallipoli.

The school joined with other London schools to act a Christmas play at the Aldwich Theatre. We were in the Christmas Day scene. Roby and I were elves, carrying in the Christmas presents to two girls fast asleep in bed. But they woke up and jumped up and down on the bed and broke it. The older girl, Mary Martin, with great presence of mind got the elves to help her mend it.

We also took part in St Martins-in-the-Fields rehearsals and show when Martin Shaw launched his song for the Girl Guides. 'Glad Heart's Adventuring'. I wonder if it is ever sung today.

Then the Uncle and Aunt decided to live entirely at the Old Rectory and I was sent to yet another school, which was not a success - the Vyne near Basingstoke in Hampshire was a beautiful house. We had lovely school uniforms of Royal Blue with silk blue and white striped blouses and velvet dresses for Sunday. These were the only good things about the school so far as I was concerned and I was removed and sent to yet another school.

The latest was a Clergy Daughters School, St Mary's Hall in Brighton. This was through the influence of the Bishop of Bristol and I was one of about 50 non clergy daughters. This was good and bad. Hockey and Netball and French and Latin and friends and enemies. At 17 I had had enough and decided I should leave and start real life. My Aunt had a serious talk with me putting to me what I should gain if I stayed another year and how I should miss out if I did not take School Certificate and Matriculation. She said I should go away and think seriously about it and then we would decide.

I thought seriously that I should leave, but she told me I was wrong and I was going to stay! This, I think, did not do much good but I did work and passed exams and behaved quite well and that was that.!

Then I decided I was going in for Photography. The Bishop's wife said it was Not Suitable for a young girl and there was no question about it. NO. The mind boggles! My Aunt decided that it was best for me to stay at home and become civilized.

Thus started seven years of a wonderful time, which I shall tell in another chapter.


Chapter 4

The holidays, during my last years at school had been superb. Dances nearly every night. Though I was not allowed to go to the Hunt Ball, as I was not 'out'. Masses of parties, theatres, riding.

My Aunt made it quite clear to us that the boys and I had no money and this lovely life was because of the Uncle's position. We were not to get 'IDEAS'. My dress (and everything else) allowance, was £30 a year. She would not allow the Uncle to give me more. This made life somewhat complicated, as I had the use of a Baby Austin. In my diaries I was continually running out of petrol. This is because petrol was so expensive (1/6 or 8p per gallon) I could only put one gallon in the car at a time. I spent a week in London with friends of my Mother's and went to the theatre every night and only had one home-made dress. In those days in the stalls or Dress Circle everyone wore Evening Dress. However, the Aunt had rubbed it in well, that we were penniless and we had to get used to it. Peter got grand ideas and lovely though he seemed to me, was a born liar and managed to live the high life, a budding Confidence Trickster by the age of eighteen. I had begun to realize this and, for me, he lost his glamour. I believed none of his stories, even if they were true. He had a girl friend in Edinburgh. (Did he? I didn't believe him). However, he took me to meet her. She was very pretty and had a strong Edinburgh accent. He later brought her to the Old Rectory to stay and told the Uncle he was going to marry her. The Uncle said he was not old enough and was earning a living in the RAF as a Flying Officer. Before this Peter had been at Wellington College, had not worked, but had had a good time and knew all the right people. He ran up bills, especially as he played Raquets, which was an expensive game. The Uncle had to bail him out several times. He took him away from Wellington and sent him to a Crammer. There he met a youth, Teddy W. son of a well born Army man, who was up to no good, again Peter got into trouble, both at the Crammer and when be brought Teddy home to stay. They both got very drink on the Uncle's whiskey and the youth pursued me relentlessly. He was, in the end, banned from coming to stay. However, Peter got into the RAF and nobody ever contested the fact that he was a brilliant flyer.

On Peter's 21st birthday he married Gay (the girl from Edinburgh). He was twenty-one and nobody was going to tell him who he could or could not marry. They came South for the Honeymoon and one day I answered the telephone: 'Gay and I have married, we are quite near and are coming to stay. Get the double room ready.'

I had to break the news to the Uncle and Aunt who were not pleased!

The visit was quite pleasant. Now they were married my Uncle had to accept it. I did not know until later that the Uncle had written to Gay's Father telling him that he had forbidden the marriage as Peter was too young and only his RAF pay and NO expectations financially and could not expect any further pay outs from him. I do not know if he got an answer to this letter.

They expected a baby and I was quite excited by this and had a hope that having a child would tame Peter. It did not, tho' he worshipped his daughter (Pam) when she arrived, and after a couple of years he moved on to another girl, also from Edinburgh. He was divorced by the time his twins arrived, so he married Miss Edinburgh the Second. In quick time twin girls arrived and I did meet his new wife and babies - just once. Peter was then stationed somewhere in the South and one weekend he 'borrowed' a plane and went North to see his wife. The RAF was not pleased and gave him the sack. Not much later the War started and he was taken back into the RAF as a sergeant Instructor. He left his wife and twins, divorced, and married a girl born in Essex by whom he had a daughter and son. They were in India when the war stopped and he continued flying for British India until he was moved to Dubai to Gulf Air. He had had enough of his third wife so he sent her home. This time there was no divorce. Nevertheless he 'Married' an Austrian girl and produced two more daughters.

For twenty years I did not see, or connect with Peter. After the second divorce we lost touch. I was to meet him later, in Dubai, of all places!

Meanwhile, Hugh, who was a year older than Peter, had been at the Imperial Service College, where he was lost and unhappy. At 13 he went to Pangborne where he did reasonably well, and from there went into The Merchant Service, Blue Funnel Line and had a reasonably happy two years. Then his ship had to dock for six weeks a for a refit in New York harbour. All the officers took leave and he, as a midshipman was left in charge. Life in the dockyard shocked him considerably. He had not met the seamy side of life before and I gather the goings-on were beyond belief. On his return home he left the Merchant Navy.

So what to do? The Uncle had a friend who had a brother who had gone to Kenya where he started a Sisal factory. The brother agreed to take Hugh as an apprentice. I remember seeing him off in London. He had 4 suitcases. Three were musical instruments and in the smallest one were his clothes! The Sisal factory was not a success and Hugh took off into the blue to seek his fortune. In fact he went Gold mining and had really rather fun and found gold! But that is another story.

Back in our school holidays the two boys and I spent most of our time playing music. I played the piano and had a set of drums. Hugh played the violin and Peter the ukulele and swanee whistle. We went round the villages playing for dancing. There was, of course, no radio and television, so the unsophisticated villages were quite glad of our rather indifferent band. Later, when the boys left home I joined up with a girl friend in Bedford who played the piano brilliantly. I played the drums. We had great fun and were quite in demand!

The Uncle was a great sportsman. Real Huntin', Shootin' and Fishin' gent. So the stables were full of horses. He bought a horse for the boys to keep them out of mischief, but they both preferred motor bikes.

True to form, Peter had a splendid BSA motorbike and Hugh had a terrible old Rudge Multi. The latter was nearly always in pieces and Hugh, covered in oil, worked on it for hours. He removed every possible part from the bike, so that it would go faster. No mud guards, no bell???, even no brakes. The only way to stop was to put his feet down to slow it, or fall into the hedge. Hugh also put in hours in the workshop and became a brilliant carpenter, as was the Uncle. As a small child, staying with the Aunt and Uncle I spent as much time as possible in the workshop, where I watched the Uncle. I asked him what he was making. 'A rabbit hutch' he told me.
'But we haven't got a rabbit.'
'We can get one when it is finished.'
Christmas came and it was a dolls house with 4 rooms and furniture and some dolls to live in it! What a magic Uncle!

They gave a Fancy Dress party, in London. There were seventy children. My Mother made a superb dress for me exactly copying a French doll the Uncle had sent me from France in the war from Alsace. I had a royal blue skirt with coloured braid round the hem, a red silk blouse and a little blue shawl and carried a little slate with "Vive l'Alsace" on it. On my head I wore the black head dress of Alsace, with a British rosette on it. I had blue and white striped socks (very difficult to find) and black dancing shoes. I carried the doll, dressed exactly the same. Uncle Bos, at the end, led us round the drawing room singing, 'a hunting we will go' and blowing his hunting horn!

The Uncle expected the boys to be able to ride but of course they had never had the chance before and did not come up to his expectations. He was disappointed!


Chapter N

My fishing partner, Tony Cooke, had met Peter Banks fishing for salmon in Canada. Peter asked Tony to come back next year and he would fix up some fishing trips for him. This Tony did and they had five trips, a wholly satisfactory and wonderful six weeks. The following year I and Tony went to Patagonia and Peter was invited to join us. Another wonderful fortnights fishing. Peter then invited me to join Tony the next year on another five fishing expeditions in Canada.

Just before we left for Canada, I had a phone call from an acquaintance called Sue, who lived in the same village as me. She had just been staying in Canada with Peter and his wife and she knew they were expecting us very soon but were worried about bedrooms. In fact they wanted to know if Tony and I shared a room or not! I put her right. We did not share a room.

This is getting complicated. Peter had a charming wife, two sons and a daughter. The younger son (Nicky, young enough to be my grandson) and I got on very well and fished together on several occasions during our six weeks in Canada.

Now, a good ten years later, Nicky came to England and bless him, came and took me out to lunch. We could not remember Sue's name, but talked about her visit to his father.

He rang me the day before his departure and said 'By the way, you remember we could not remember that woman's name - well it is Sue -. I have just been to see an old friend, a solicitor, and met his wife, who was the Sue we knew, who had divorced her husband and married his friend. Extraordinary combination of events.

I meet Tony at Bridge. Tony met Peter Bates in Canada, fishing for sea trout in Queen Charlottes' Island. Peter knows a young woman in Rockbourne called Sue, where I was living and she goes to Canada and stays with Peter and Mary and comes back and rings me to tell me their latest news. Nicky, Peter's youngest son fishes with us in Canada and six years later comes to visit me. We cannot remember Sue's name. But he rings me before he leaves for Canada to say he had been staying with a very old friend of his, who had lately married Sue who had divorced her husband. All these people connected, by chance, in Canada an parts of England"